I'm Thirty. You know that skit on SNL where the lady goes "I'm FIFTY" and kicks her legs? That's how I feel. I keep thinking "I'm THIRTY" but in the "I'm FIFTY" voice in my head. Of course, that lady is reveling in the fact that she's so young and hip and yet fifty, and I'm thinking more like "my god, how has it come to this?" Thirty seems like a good milestone year--a good time to take stock of your life and see if it's on the course you thought it would be. I know lots of people in their late 20's who now seem a lot younger than me just because I've rolled over on another zero. Movies and books and pop culture seems to deal a lot with people having this mid to late 20's life emergency where they break down or just suddenly realize that life isn't going the way they'd like it. I don't know if I went through that, per se, but now that I've entered a new decade, it's definitely on my mind that I've blown more chances than I've capitalized on. Maybe that's true of everyone, or at least most people.

The problem I see is that most people get to that point somewhere in their 20's where they no longer want to be stuck in some sort of suspended adolescence and they jump right into respectible jobs, families, nice cars, homes, lawncare, dinner parties and the whole nine. I'm 30 and none of that really appeals to me. I know I'm not alone, and I have some pretty great role models and people I know who are doing their own thing and are well-older than I am. I just wonder when the gravity of age is going to start pulling me into a life I don't want with that inescapable inevitability that seems to catch almost everyone. Maybe the point at which people finally "grow up" is getting older as people put kids and families and responsibilities on the back burner for loner. I'm guessing there's also not a clear line of demarkation for this whole transition into adulthood, and that people can be perfectly functioning, respectible adults and still like comic book movies, sleeping in on the weekends, and never having to wear a suit. I hope so, anyway.